


Bare

by plantsneedsunlighttogrow



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, UST, Unresolved Emotional Tension, church
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-08-02
Packaged: 2018-02-11 05:47:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2056083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plantsneedsunlighttogrow/pseuds/plantsneedsunlighttogrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin and Arthur are roommates and maybe something a little more at their Catholic boarding school. They've grown up knowing that who they are is wrong. Can love survive the utter disaster that follows when the truth comes out? Based off of Bare: A Pop Opera.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Bare Epiphany

**Author's Note:**

> This is completely and shamelessly based off of Bare: A Pop Opera. I'll add warnings as I go. Oh, and they're both the same age. This is my first fic so :)  
> *****Do not read it spoils the chapter****  
> Merlin falls asleep and dreams. Currently no one actually knows about him and Arthur.

MERLIN  
Merlin sat in the hard wooden pew of the church, his eyes glazed over. He listened to Father Uther talk in a somehow passionate yet monotone voice. How that was possible, he didn't know. He was fighting to keep his eyes open. He was positive regular boarding schools didn't have to deal with 5 am mass. Even if it was the special first day back seniors only mass. That didn't make it any easier to listen to. He glanced over at the empty seat besides him. Without Arthur to even make crude jokes how was he going to survive the morning? Answer: He wasn't. Merlin slumped a little lower in his seat in a futile effort to make it slightly more comfortable. He tugged at the shirt that was too big for him and smelled of Arthur. He looked up at Father Uther who had finished the daily prayer in Latin and was about to address the students. Merlin made an effort to open his eyes wider and pay attention.

"I want to welcome all of you back. I hope Christmas was a time of great joy for you and your families. " he began, hands outspread. He stood lightened by the grand stain glass window, depicting Mary and Joseph and the baby Jesus. "Today is the feast of the Epiphany. The celebration of the arrival of the three wise men to pay homage to the baby Jesus. " He paused as if to let them reflect on his words. "I want you to imagine what that journey must have been like: A journey resting entirely on faith that they would know where they were going once they arrived."

With that Merlin's eyes fluttered shut. He could listen with his eyes closed, right? As the seconds passed by, the pew grew more and more comfortable, defying all practical laws that Merlin knew of. Surely it wouldn't be a big deal if he nodded off. After all he had heard this speech far too many times and Arthur was skipping it too. So there. 

Father Uther continued on, oblivious to Merlin's inattention , thanks be to God, "Imagine what a joy it must have been for them to have finally reached their destination. Seniors, you're coming to an end of four years at St. Cecelia's-You've lived together, studied together and most importantly, prayed together: Strength for the journey. We begin in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Let us take a moment now to call to mind those times when we've fallen from God's grace." He motioned for the congregation to join him. "I confess.."

Merlin forced his eyes open slowly. It was a fight to keep them open. They kept fluttering shut. He joined in the confession "..To almighty God, and to you my brothers and sisters, that I've sinned through my own fault in my thoughts and in my words, in what I've done and what I have failed to do. And I ask the blessing of a virgin, all the angels and saints and you, my brothers and sisters." Everyone else fell silent and looked directly at Merlin, including Father Uther. "To...to pray for me? To the Lord, uh, our God?" he faltered. He looked around the room, confused. 

"Yes, pray for him to Lord, our God." The congregation said in unison. Morganna turned to Gwen and whispered "One of the boys is just not like the other." as she glared at Merlin. "Loves his female singers, loves to cook." Gwen nodded. "He looks around in gym, it pleases him. /Thoughts/ enslave him. Somebody save him." she agreed as she crossed herself. Lance leaned towards them, "Because he knows that he is taking chances and he knows that his romance is doomed." Merlin looked at his friends, shocked. "How-how did you know?" They ignored him. Elyan sneered. "He'd sacrifice his soul to feed his vice, heaven severed, hell is forever, fag." 

In unison Gwen, Morgana, Lance, and Elyan chanted to Merlin. "Dig down deep and save your soul. Grave mistakes will take their toll. Every sin is entered in- Heaven comes with discipline. No more dodging, God is watching. The road is long, the path is narrow. You can change."

Merlin looked around, terrified. He backed away from them slowly as they advanced toward him. All the rows of pews behind him had disappeared. "But it doesn't all make sense, what I feel is real!" he protested. Gwen snorted. "God said Adam and Eve, not Merlin and Arthur, And your mother! God, how she will suffer. Will your father break when he hears the news?" Elyan put an arm around Gwen and joined her. "Will you drag that poor boy down there with you? He's unsure and you can't change his mind. If you love him, then you'll let him go."

With this, the congregation began to chant again. "Life is choices; live by our voices." They all sat down, facing the front of the church, and suddenly Merlin's mother, Hunith, appeared in front of everyone. She was wearing a beautiful white silk gown that was modest, of course. "Mom?" Merlin gasped. She lived in Massachusetts. She couldn't be here. This isn't right. She smiled sweetly at her son. "Hello, Merlin." Merlin waved weakly at her. "Our first reading today is the story of how despite the best efforts of a single mother, a child can still go horribly, horribly wrong." "Mom!" Merlin yelled, face red. He looked around at the crowd, but no one was looking at him. They were all seated, paying attention to his mother. She continued on, oblivious, "For his eighth birthday, Merlin asked for an EZ-Bake Oven; his father asked for a divorce. To me the link between these two events was as strong as Merlin's attraction to my makeup table. We sent him to a Catholic boarding school, thinking it might help, but when he met his roommate Arthur, the two of them locked eyes and I said to myself, "Hunith, you wanted grandchildren, instead you're gonna get ambiguous Christmas cards from South Beach."

Mithian appeared next to Hunith, a prayer book in his hands. "Our offertory hymn is number 279, 'A Bender Among Us'  
There's a bender among us  
he must be exposed.  
He'll kidnap our children  
then take off their clothes.  
A bender among us  
there's pink in our flock  
a boy without conscience  
who's led by his--"

Hunith cut off Mithian with "Cockamaimy! Pure cockamaimy that this isn't a choice. Don't do this to me Merlin." She pleaded with him, tears running down her face. Merlin ran toward her, arms outstretched. "Mom, Mom, I'm so sorry, Mom!" But she and Mithian kept getting farther and farther away until they disappeared in a puff of smoke. Merlin whipped his head around to look at the crowd behind him. The entire congregation all stood up and laughed and erupted into yells of "Fag!" and "Queer!" and "Homo". 

Father Uther hushed everyone immediately with a look. "The peace of the Lord be with you always." The congregation bowed it's head and chanted back "And also with you." Father Uther nodded approvingly. He snapped his fingers and the world fell away, leaving Merlin standing by himself in dark nothingness for a moment before the world came back with jarring reality. Merlin found himself sprawled on a grass covered hill. They were in an old, crumbly cemetery. The sky was bright and blue without a cloud in the sky. "Father?" he asked weakly. "What's happening?" Father Uther cut him off. "Not at a funeral, Merlin."

Merlin slowly got up and looked at the coffin, and the hole that it was obviously meant to go in, that appeared before him. He swallowed hard. He looked around him. Everyone was crying. "Mom, what is it? Gwen? Morganna? Lance?" They wouldn't look at him. They just cried harder. He looked at the coffin and then looked up at the clear sky. "Is it me, Lord? Is it me?" Father Uther stared at Merlin for what seemed like decades. "Yes." Merlin's vision went black. 

Merlin jerked forward, eyes flying open, heart pounding, covered with sweat. He looked around. Everyone was looking at Father Uther, not him. It was a dream. Just a dream. He tried to calm his breathing so it didn't look as if he had ran a mile. 

"Let us go forth in peace, to love, and serve the Lord." Father Uther said, finishing his sermon.  
"Thanks be to God." responded the congregation. Merlin darted up from his seat and ran from the church, not caring who was looking at him. He had to find Arthur.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry the dream scene was so weirdly written. I wasn't sure how to do it and I didn't have a beta so if anyone wants to volunteer? ;)


	2. You and I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin talk about their relationship. Super angsty?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of NSFW? Not really? Can't write porn lol sorry

Merlin  
Merlin ran through the mostly empty halls. The school was all interconnected, one thing leading to another. The churches, to the gym, to the classrooms, to the auditorium, to the dormitories. He rushed to he and Arthur's shared room, ignoring the scattering of students giving him inquisitive looks. He prayed under his breath to Mary, as that might alleviate him of his sins. "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee, blessed art thou amongst women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.." and so on until Merlin was panicking slightly less. He would see Arthur and everything would be fine. 

He finally reached his room on the other side of the school , of course, and opened the door to find it completely empty. Well, not completely, it was a mess. They were two boys living together, what did you expect? Arthur's side of the room was maticulet, except for his desk, which had papers and pens and flyers and mostly just bunches of crap on it. His shoes were in a neat little row outside his wardrobe where not a hair was out of place. Merlin's side of the room, however, had clothing strewn everywhere with no regard for where it actually belonged. His desk had clothing on it as well. Considering they wore uniforms and they're wasn't a whole lot of choice in what they could wear, it was amazing how messy Merlin could be with his clothing. There was papers scattered about as well. His bed was unmade, because Arthur slept in it with him. His only shoes were on his feet. There was a stack of flyers at the foot of his bed looking ready to collapse at any moment. But in what really mattered, the room was empty. It lacked Arthur. 

Merlin sighed. Of course he wasn't there. His mind raced before he wanted to smack himself in the head. Arthur practiced after church on Saturdays and because he didn't go today, he was already there. Probably. Now Merlin had to go to the gym. He sighed heavily. Why did he have to fall in with the athletic one? Arthur was the captain of the basketball team and he was incredibly good at it, not to mention a great student. Sometimes Merlin was jealous. These times were not now, because Merlin was at least easy to find. He sighed again and stood up. He was not running across the school again. 

Merlin trudged across the school. He was almost at the there when he ran into, meaning tripped and fell on, Lance du Lock. Lance, being the kind and wonderful soul he was, laughed and helped Merlin up. 

"Hey, man. What's up?" said Lance.

"Nothing, just falling over men, it's a new hobby of mine," Merlin replied, smiling. "How was your break? Get in good with Gwen?" he asked suggestively.

Lance blushed. "Nah, but I'm hoping to actually ask her out this semester. "

Merlin gave him a 'uh huh. really.' look.

"Shut up." Lance said, laughing again, "See you later, Merlin." Merlin waved good bye and hurried to the gym. Lance was on the team with Arthur, so that must mean that Arthur was in the gym. 

When he opened the door to the gym, it was empty. It was exactly how a basketball court normally looks, except there was crosses everywhere. He looked up at the ceiling. "Why, God, why?" and sighed when he, yet again, received no response. Just then someone grabbed him from behind and whispered. "Hey little boy would you like a ride in my van? A lollipop? A puppy?" 

Merlin whipped around, prepared to kill someone, but then saw piercing blue eyes and laughed. "Arthur! You scared me half to death!" 

Arthur laughed and grabbed his hand. Arthur's eyes darted around to make sure no one was watching them. He led Merlin to a darkened corner of the basketball court where they stored the balls. Appropriate for them, as they both really sort of liked balls. 

Arthur's eyes lit up mischievously. Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin's waist and leaned his hips toward Merlin's. "How about a baseball bat? There's one in my pants." 

Merlin giggled again. "No, thank you. My mom said to never talk to strangers." he teased. 

"So a kiss is out of the question then?" Arthur pouted. 

Merlin shrugged. "I'll take a chance." he wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck and tilted his head down to kiss him. 

When they broke apart, Arthur kept his hands around Merlin's waist. "So where were you?" Merlin asked. "Online?" 

"Where were you? Asleep?" Arthur retorted.

"Like half the congregation!" Merlin protested. 

Arthur laughed. "So are we damned?" 

"I stayed awake as long as I could." Merlin muttered.

Arthur laughed and ruffled Merlin's hair. "Good Catholic. I say," he paused. 

Merlin waited patiently for about half a second, before saying. "You say what?" hating the neediness in his voice. 

Arthur smirked fondly at Merlin. "I say we go fall asleep together." 

Merlin smiled, "Oh, do you?"

"Should I bring my baseball bat?" Arthur asked. 

Merlin's eyes widened and he immediately said "Yes. I think you should. He grabbed Arthur's hand and started to walk out of their corner. He dropped Arthur's hand as if it burned him as he saw the doors to the locker room open. A flood of sweaty teenagers entered the gym. 

"Good game, man." called Leon, obviously to Arthur.

"See you later, Princess!" Gwaine said, smacking Arthur on the ass in a show of amazing heterosexuality. Merlin frowned. 

Elena came up to Arthur, completely ignoring Merlin, twirling her hair with her fingers. "Um, hey, did you lose my number or something? I didn't hear from you all break?" she asked. Thank the merciful Lord Arthur moved her out of Merlin's line of hearing. 

While Mithian and Arthur talked, Merlin glanced around the gym. He waved at some of his friends. He glanced at Arthur with Mithian and muttered "It's always the same." His frown deepened. Arthur was hot. There was no denying with his golden hair and beautiful blue eyes, not to mention his body, that Arthur was hot. It was natural that people would want him. Even more now because Merlin had beat the prattiness out of him. Even though he knew he was being ridiculous, it felt like Arthur was cheating on him. Merlin glared at Mithian. 

Eventually, Arthur came back over to him. Arthur saw the hurt look on Merlin's face. "It's all just a game." he whispered. Merlin moved away from him. It had been a game for far too long. Arthur sighed. "Let's go." Merlin nodded. They could talk about it in their room. They walked in silence to their room. Arthur kept trying to poke Merlin to get him to smile, but Merlin determinedly ignored him. 

When they got to their room, Merlin sat down on Arthur's unused bed. "Tell me why I should trust you when the girls all lust to touch you?" he asked, not looking at him. 

"Because when I have you near me I go out of my mind." Arthur said walking towards him. Arthur knelt at the foot of his bed. "You and I-" he faltered, struggling for the words, "You take my hand, leaving me breathless. Take a look in these big blue eyes, so you'll understand and know why we whisper in hallways 'I'll be with you always'. Forever you and I." He finished earnestly. 

Merlin started to argue, "But-" 

"No," Arthur cut him off. "Merlin, don't you worry, cause I wouldn't leave you. Not even for Gwaine." he smirked. "Look, what we have is perfect."

"Then we'll tell my mother!" Merlin suggested, an idea he had been harboring for a long time. Arthur's statements had warmed his heart, but it didn't quench his doubts about their relationship and their future. 

Arthur gave him the 'Are you certifiably insane?' look. "Let's lay off the crack, now." Arthur climbed on top of the bed next to Merlin and put an arm around him. He kissed him deeply, ignoring his protests. "You are mine and I am yours, alright?" 

Merlin relented, smiled, and nodded. "I have an idea of what we could do now."

Arthur looked down at the quite obvious bulge in Merlin's pants. "Need some help there?" Merlin giggled and just kissed him again. Their problems dissolved into a world of kisses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think ? :)


	3. Role of A Lifetime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin Prays or Merlin Talks To God But Not Really Cause God Says Nothing Back

Merlin  
As he and Arthur lay cuddled together, Arthur dozing lazily, Merlin suddenly poked him hard. "We should have a codeword."

Arthur blinked at him, still sleepy. "You woke me up."

"Yes, you have to go to Father Uther's makeup church sermon." he said, not missing a beat. "But we should have a codeword. To tell each other 'hey we should shag like right now' but we're in public, so , of course, we can't actually say that. I was thinking Math book. What do you think?" 

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Fine. You are such a nerd." He kissed Merlin quickly before getting out of bed to get dressed. Merlin watched rather sadly as Arthur's body disappeared behind clothing. 

Merlin debated with himself whether or not to ask Arthur for several minutes before finally blurting out, "There's something that I want to ask you. Don't say no- just hear me out! After school they hold auditions. " Seeing Arthur's face he added. "Something just to think about!"

"You said the same thing last year! You know acting's not my thing. Plus I might go out for baseball and I can't dance or sing." Arthur protested. 

"You have never mentioned baseball!" Merlin accused, knowing that Arthur was just trying to get out of it. "You haven't played since we were 14. I just want to spend time with you!" he coaxed. 

"I don't act." Arthur said flatly. 

"i think we're the best act this school has ever seen." Merlin laughed. 

"So take a bow."

Merlin gave him the Father Gaius Eyebrow. "You know what I mean...It's just a thought. You know what? Forget that I brought it up."

Arthur sighed and walked to Merlin and put his hands on Merlin's shoulders, rubbing them soothingly. "Just think about tonight, when everything is right, we'll shut off all the lights, and cuddle in bed. And see how far we get." And Arthur kissed Merlin deeply. 

Merlin felt a little weak in the knees. "What that supposed to shut me up?"

"Yes."

"Clotpole!" he said laughing, shoving Arthur away from him, not really mad. 

Arthur looked at the time. "Gotta run. Miss me." Merlin kissed him again and waved goodbye. He waited until Arthur was gone and collapsed on the bed, smiling. Slowly his smile faded and his mind went straight to their situation. They were seniors, they could handle this, just one more year, then- then what? He needed to pray. 

He got down on his knees and looked at the ceiling. He began, "Everything is an act when you're pleasing everyone and Arthur does it perfectly. The role of a lifetime. It's living a fantasy. A drama that I struggle to erase from my mind. Thoughts battle words over deeds. All played out behind a smiling facade. God, I need your guidance, tell me what it means to live a life where nothing is as it seems. I spend my days in silent fear and my nights in lonely prayer. Praying that one day these feelings won't be there."

"I'm confused because I feel complete with him. When we're alone, it somehow all makes sense. But during the day I have to bury this thing, something so intense it takes up my world. I learned to play the straight man, my lines became routine. But I know this scene will change. White picket fences, and a dog, a trophy bride, and children. God I know that's what he wants."

"But, God, what role do I play? Am I a savior or a phase? Am I here to damn him or to help him navigate this maze where confusion is a sin? What happens when the music stops? In the silence will he stay? One day will he realize that these feelings aren't going away?"

And once again, Merlin didn't receive a response, so he just said. "Thanks for listening." and got up off the floor. He brushed his knees off. He sighed, heart heavy. He had an appointment to get his schedule changed. He'd better do that now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think? :)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Everyone!!!!!


End file.
